What it's like being friends with my best friend's boyfriend

*All names have been changed

By Ashwini Selvakumaran

I used to live upstate in New York, in a town that was typical as in it had Starbucks, Lululemon fanatics, and of course the campies!

Not that there’s anything wrong with those things. I go to Starbucks twice a week, and own three pairs of Lululemon leggings. However, I do not go to sleep away camp and oh my, let’s start our story from there.

My best friend *Rose and I met in the seventh grade when we bonded over an instantaneous dislike of our French teacher and his fashion statement of (gag) clogs. We’d been inseparable since then. Every summer was typical, I’d jet around the world with my thrill-seeker parents exploring lush nature landscapes and collecting endless souvenirs, while she’d have the time of her life at a fantastic sleep away camp where I have heard nothing but good things. We’d write each other constantly when we could. Typical.

The summer before tenth grade, Rose was wavering in her letters. I knew there was something she was keeping from me. Letters became shorter, and I became frantic. Was she sick? Did she fall off a cliff? Did she tip over her canoe? 

When camp was over and I was finally back home after traveling, she called me right away over Facetime. I still remember every single word of the simple but important conversation.

“Guess what?”


“Okay don’t freak out but…”

(Don’t freak out! Of course I was freaking out!)

“Tell me!”


“I have a boyfriend!”

The emotions I felt then and there are hard to explain. On one hand I was really happy for Rose. She was the sweetest girl I knew who made honor roll every year, and played on our school’s soccer team. On the other, I felt just the teeniest bit of sadness. Rose was the only friend I knew who hadn’t had a boyfriend yet, much like me. Would her new boyfriend take her time away from me? I was worried she’d leave me hanging in the dust.

Of course being the best friends that we are, the happiness immediately overpowered that twinge of sadness. Over the course of an intense three hour long conversation, Rose proceeded to tell me that his name was *Alex, he lived an hour away from where her grandma lived in Rhode Island, and that he was the sweetest/cutest/best/amazing/insert every sickly sweet adjective that exists, boyfriend. Ever.

That’s how I knew it was serious. Rose literally had the heart eye emojis expression for the rest of the summer. 

We had a sleepover the next day at my house. There was hugging, screaming, crying, and cookies! (From my wonderful mom). We finally climbed into my bed at 10 PM and started scrolling through Instagram, Snapchat, the usual. I was tapping away on Facebook when it hit me.



“Does Alex have Facebook?”

And indeed he did. I begged Rose to create a Facebook account since she did not have one at that time, and I being the usual worrier I am did not want to friend Alex without my best friend reassuring him that I wasn’t a total creep. We proceeded to stalk all twelve of his photos that were made public laughing at the fetus ones.

To cut it short, Rose ended up making a Facebook later that night and immediately befriended Alex. It was 11:52 PM and we were both tired like crazy when Rose got an alert on her phone.

“Oh. My. God.” She said as a deep blush overtook her face.

“What?! Let me see!” I exclaimed snatching her phone from her. My mouth proceeded to match her slack jawed expression.

Alex has posted a new status update: Alex and Rose are in a relationship.

I immediately went to my Facebook account and commented a bunch of hearts. Like the girls we were, Rose and I were screaming and crying. 

“It’s Facebook official, I repeat it’s Facebook official!” I shouted hugging my tomato-red best friend.

All was well. Well until, Alex texted Rose asking who I was.

“Who am I?” I asked laughing and snatching her phone once more from her hand, “Well I’m her freaking best friend!”

And that was my first encounter of Rose’s boyfriend. I did not know if we would ever interact again, but of course we did.

I’m not sure how it entirely happened, but a group chat was created on Facebook between Rose, Alex, and I. To cut it short, this group chat was full of sarcastic ‘ew’s’ on my part, ‘babe’ on Alex’s part, and ‘LOL’S’ from the ever excited Rose who wanted us so badly to get along.

And get along we did. Although I had my doubts about Alex at first, he showed his true colors. Over the course of hour-long group texts each day of that week, I learned he was an honor student, played football, loved his mom and really really really cared for Rose.

I knew he was not some douchebag jerk like the guys Rose had liked in the past. He was sweet and genuine.

We talked a lot. He told us about his life, I told him about mine. He liked listening about my day and vice-versa. I knew straight away he wasn’t some stuck up phony jerk. On the contrary, being friends with Rose’s boyfriend was not actually like how the movies portray it. I was not the stereotypical third wheel (perhaps since we were fraternizing over social media) but he made me feel welcome. I could be myself around him. It was awesome.

Rose is still with him today. We talk constantly and I consider Alex one of my closest friends now. We tease each other like brother and sister, and he and Rose can make me laugh so hard until I cry. Most recently, we all video chatted and laughed our heads off for about an hour. All my worries have been erased, and all doubts clear. Rose always made time for me like the most caring best friend she is, and to see her so happy with Alex made my heart swell with pride and familial love for the two of them.

What they say about third wheeling is not always true, if you have the most sincere best friend like I do and get the opportunity to become friends with her boyfriend, you’ll probably find out he’s an amazing friend to have. (And if not, well you didn’t hear it from me!)




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